It seems you have to be a hero as well as living to win
THIS Australian of the Year thing is rigged I tell you!
Once again I spent ages writing all those anonymous letters to the National Australia Day Committee telling them how wonderful I am, and I still didn't get nominated?!
Apparently they only want people who have made a tireless contribution to our great nation through medical, scientific, grass roots, sporting, or social improvements.
In other words, people who have actually 'done something'.
Once a person has been nominated, the committee assesses the degree of difficulty of their contribution, their professional qualifications, future impact of their efforts, how much of it was part of their paid employment, sacrifices they made, previous recognition and awards, and finally they check to see if the nominee is still alive.
Apparently if a nominee dies before the awards ceremony, they are instantly disqualified and their invitation to the Australian of the Year Ceremony is prised from their lifeless hands; which is a little cold blooded in my opinion.
Meanwhile at a community level, there are the Local Hero Awards which recognise the selfless local folk who take on activities the rest of us avoid like the plague.
They volunteer at tuckshops, coach kids' sports, plant acres of shrubbery, or run a club or charity group, and do it so well that they can't get out of it even if they wanted to.
Basically this award is the community's way of saying, 'Thanks', and 'Sorry', at the same time.
Anyway in spite of coming up with a great contribution to the local community of Gladstone, I still didn't even get nominated as a Local Hero!
Plus, it turns out that cutting down numerous trees to improve the view at a local lookout is actually against the law.
Honestly, I'm starting to wonder why I bother at all.