'Toxic' emissions scare off the Easter Bunny
UPDATE NOON: Happy April Fool's Day everyone.
EARLIER: Easter Bunny has cancelled plans to visit Gladstone on Sunday after talk about toxic emissions in the city scared him off.
It's news that's sure to devastate local parents, who will now be responsible for hiding eggs for their excited children to find.
A spokesbunny from EB headquarters said bunnies tended to have frail respiratory systems, and Mr Bunny didn't want to risk any impact on his health.
The spokesbunny said word had reached the long ears of Mr Bunny about Curtis Island flares spewing toxic clouds of "god knows what" into the city.
"Combined with the pollution from other industries in Gladstone, plus the very real risk that an LNG ship in port could go kaboom, we just can't take the chance," the spokesbunny said.
"Reassurances from government departments and scientific bodies just aren't enough."
The move is believed to be the first time the Easter Bunny has avoided visiting a particular city.
It's understood that eggs destined for Gladstone will now be distributed to children in Bundaberg and Rockhampton, who are set for a bumper Easter.