The day dad became an embarrassment on his birthday
JUST four days ago I had a birthday.
Four days ago I flipped over 45 numbers on the "Old Timer" list and yes I feel it, and four days ago I got a surprise when my daughter gave me a reality check that nearly made me drive my car off the road.
My daughter, who is now nine years old, gave me some advice that will stick in my mind forever and a day. She was talking to me about life in general when she threw out the words, "Dad, that's a little embarrassing!"
Let's paint the picture for you: My two kids, me, a busy food outlet restaurant, and a whole bunch of people all ready for a good night.
My daughter hands me a personal hand-made crown with the words "Happy Birthday Dad" around the side of it.
It's red in colour, very high and has lots of those crafty emblems glued to it to really make it stand out.
When she gave it to me I loved it, to the point of asking if she would like me to wear it to dinner with all those people around, and her reaction floored me.
I know I do some embarrassing things around my kids, like pull my pants up like Harry High-pants, I often oil my hair and part it like in the '40s, but this one of wearing a crown to dinner I did not understand.
I took her advice and left in the car when my son told me, "Good idea, Dad," and left it at that.
I didn't think it was that embarrassing really.
What about all those people who have tennis balls on their tow bars? That's embarrassing as well as weird.
What about those people who continue to wear surf shorts outside of the beach? Weird. How about people who continue to wear muffin tops, or those who have scrunchies?
The list is really long. Taxi drivers with the bead seat-mats, fluffy dice, people who wear those Crocs, people who can't grow a full beard, those who grow moustaches (men and women) and also blokes who wear Lycra. It's just all wrong.
I know I'm often quite embarrassing, as staff here at Zinc will agree, but really, am I as bad or weird as some that I've mentioned? I think not.
I may be 45 but I'm proud of it. I'm off to play golf today in my three-quarter pants, Crocs and my birthday crown from my daughter. I couldn't be more proud! I'll be the one yelling out 'four'.