Shakespeare is magic, if you can beat the language barrier

IT HAS been said that a million monkeys typing away at a million keyboards would eventually produce the works of Shakespeare.

Well, I've been on Facebook long enough to know that this simply isn't true.

I've tried to batter my way through most of Willy's works, but usually by the second chapter I'm completely bewildered and totally bored by the overlong rants about nothing much in particular; which, incidentally, also describes how I feel watching a Clive Palmer interview.

Heaven knows I've given Billy enough chances, but the language barrier has defeated me every time.

It's English; it's got lots of English words in it, in much the same way as my new clock-radio manual is written in English, and is just about as easy to understand.

Each individual word is fine; it's simply the way they're put together. Or as the nice Korean chap who wrote my clock-radio manual would say: "Put way fine each together it's individual happy dragon!"

But some clever folk, recognising that Bill had a bit of genius when it came to spinning yarns, took the time to translate his works into modern English, then made a motza by turning them into movies.

For example, The Lion King leans heavily on Hamlet for script direction.

West Side Story is a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet.

And 10 Things I Hate About You is a direct rip-off of Taming of the Shrew; although I'm not too sure if the Ford Mustang was around in Shakespeare's day.

Still, I haven't given up on the Bard just yet.

Like the million typing monkeys, if I persist long enough I'm sure I'll learn to enjoy Shakespeare's style.

Well, if one ape tapping away on a keyboard managed to produce this column then anything's possible.

Opting out of online health records

Opting out of online health records

Tips for the elderly and those who aren't tech-savvy.

Business says council's free caravan park is unfair

Business says council's free caravan park is unfair

Monte Olsen says free rest areas are "killing” his business.

Bill's big plans involve carpark fix

Bill's big plans involve carpark fix

When the Pacific Eden arrived there wasn't any spare carparks.

Local Partners