Sex comes with strings attached even with 'buddies'

SEX BUDDIES: While it might seem a “sex buddy” is all you need, eventually one of you will want something more.
SEX BUDDIES: While it might seem a “sex buddy” is all you need, eventually one of you will want something more. Iconogenic

Nobody knows who he is, but The Observer has a new man on the ground in Gladstone sniffing out stories of love, lust and everything in between.

IF SEX with "no strings attached" sounds like a deal too good to be true that's because it is. I have been there before. I was emotionally broke and needed the self-fulfilling feeling that only comes with sex.

Jane found me attractive and needed that itch scratched that couldn't be scratched with a back scratcher. We agreed that it would just be sex.

At the time, it was an easy promise to make.

She told me there was no danger of anything else and that she could never "feel" anything for me.

Any other time it would have been an insult, but for now it suited me.

However, after a few rendezvous, Jane unexpectedly showed up at my house with a roast chicken she had made for dinner.

I knew then she wanted me to make room for her in my life, she had broken the "sex buddy" rule and became attached and I had to end it.

I would have liked to say I learnt my lesson that day but I didn't. I gave into my libido monster with other girls and I hated myself for repeating the same mistake.

Sometimes I became attached; it is hard for anyone to stay emotionally void.

Having someone on call every time you need them is bound to lead to an emotional dependency.

We become slack and stop looking for a person who fulfils us emotionally and sexually to settle for the "sex buddy" who is always there.

Then one day your "sex buddy" forgets about the reasons they wanted to stay single in the first place and finds someone else, or worse, you end up having feelings for someone who only wants you for sex.

Next time you meet that someone you find attractive and they tell you they only want a "no strings attached" relationship, before you give in to your libido monster, think about if it is really worth it?

You can make all the rules of engagement in the world but in the end, one of you is making a promise you can't commit to.

Nobody knows how they are going to feel down the lonely track and while it might seem during your emotional hiatus that a "sex buddy" is all you need, eventually one will want something more.

You can't make room for someone new, if your someone else is laying around taking up space.

Have a relationship question? I'd love to hear it. Email: manaboutgtown@gmail.com.



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