Rapist husband made wife feel insignificant

"YOU'RE fat and ugly, and nobody else would ever want you.

"You're a brainless c*** of a thing.

"You won't ever be able to leave me.

"It's your fault I was out at the pub all night. Why didn't you come and get me at 10 o'clock?

"Then this wouldn't have happened."


Those are just some of things Jenny's* abusive, alcoholic husband said to her over the course of their marriage.

She's 44 now, lives in Gladstone and is in the midst of a custody dispute to keep her son after she found the courage to leave her husband.

Jenny was anally raped repeatedly by her husband. She would cry and beg for him to stop when she was bleeding from her anus.


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"When there is a drunk man on top of you, holding you down, the only thing you can do is protect your children.

"I didn't want them to hear me scream."

For 10 years Jenny was emotionally manipulated and sexually abused.

Now, she is trying to see the matter through court, but feels the system is letting her down.

"The magistrate threw out my case because of a clerical error. It made me feel raped all over again."

She had tried to file a DVO, but was so emotional during the hearing and filled out the forms wrong.

Jenny's self-esteem has been whittled away by the man who professed to love her.

Jenny met her husband at a pub in a small country town.

At the beginning of their relationship she didn't see the signs of violence.

Her new partner called her up to six times a day while she was at work, just to check in and see what she was doing.

Her work wasn't important and it wasn't long before she believed him when he told her she was worthless.

"He had that control over me. He just took all my confidence away.

"His favourite line was that I was a brainless c*** of a thing."

She tried to leave, but he drained their bank accounts and credit cards so she couldn't even buy nappies for their two-year-old son.

So she eventually she went back.

"That's when I lost contact with my family. They couldn't stand to see me keep going back."

For Jenny, education has been her saviour. Now she is studying to help other women in her position.

She wants them to know it isn't their fault. They can leave and married women can still be raped.

"We have to stop being silent and feeling ashamed," she said.

"Even if you are married, it's still rape. You are saying no, stop you're hurting me - and they keep going. That's rape, not love."

"The truth is, the emotional abuse can scar you more than the physical. You hide the pain underneath because you don't want to be the pity person, the one everyone feels sorry for."

*Name has been changed

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