OPINION: Pop-up people painful if you pop to mall

DON'T you hate it when you are accosted in a shopping mall?

I don't mean physically accosted, just verbally waylaid.

I work opposite a shopping mall so every time I feel the need to get up from the computer to stretch the legs, the only place I have to stretch them is across the road at the shopping mall.

The moment I enter the mall I am accosted.

Someone who wasn't there the day before has popped up with a pop-up stand and is calling out to me.

These pop-up people are always overly cheerful, way too hearty and annoyingly jolly.

More annoying than the pop-ups in shopping malls is the telemarketer.

I have had the good fortune to be left in peace from Indian telemarketers for years.

But now they've discovered my mobile phone number.

They have caught up with me.

Insurance companies have, alas, also found me on mobile.

One called me just the other morning assuring me she wasn't selling anything but wanted to know how my funeral arrangements were going.

"I have no plan to leave this world for a while yet, despite my throbbing corns, aching bones, pinching dentures and old legs," I told her but she wasn't going to be fobbed off by talk of pinching dentures.

"You never know," she said and reassured me again that she was not selling a funeral plan, just doing a survey.

On and on she pressed until I told her I was going to hang up or die right there on the spot.

"Well then, you'll have need of a funeral plan," she came back faster than an assassin's knife.

You can never win with a telemarketer.

P.S. I do not have dentures or corns, my bones are dense and strong, and my legs are...if I may say so...long, slim and still fabulous.

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