Opinion

Peruse the paper – for evolution and your vocabulary

PERHAPS my favourite word at the moment is allegedly.

It is basically a lifeline wrapped into three vowels and six consonants.

The government is allegedly poisoning the masses through geo-engineering.

Safe.

Allegedly, aliens are invading the earth.

Safe.

Allegedly, Tony Abbott is a bigot.

Safe again.

I'd like to share a few of my other favourite words with whoever is perusing this column.

There goes another one, perusing.

In place of saying "I was shamelessly perving on that girl", a guy would sound so much more sophisticated by replacing it with the following sentence.

"My eyes were perusing on the aesthetic delights that woman placed in front of me."

The English language is a beautiful thing.

For example, the following sentence makes perfect sense.

"That that exists exists in that that that that exists exists in."

Isn't it ironic that I am the number one person in The Observer office who puts my head up over the cubicle wall to ask for help in remembering a specific word, but I can recite the phrase used to describe that process of linguistic amnesia.

For your reference, it is 'lethologica'.

Nelipot is a pretty awesome word too, one that may also describe me fairly well.

It is: one who walks barefoot.

I just hope, as we move into a future of technologically savvy toddlers and our brains become lazier, the English language does not disintegrate further.

That we don't remove more words from our vocabulary and turn into regurgitators of verbose and recycled terminology.

And here's the conveniently placed reminder about why newspapers are important.

Not really.

But hey, when I was 16 I read the dictionary from front to back and I've always had an unnatural love of words.

But seriously, read the paper guys. We don't want to de-evolutionise.

Topics:  ebony battersby gladstone opinion



How to do Eat Street the right way

EVERYTHING you need to know to get the most out of your Eat Street experience and to avoid a food coma when you’re only one stall deep.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…find them on these drives!

The Scenic Rim is just one place nearby that you'll love.

BRISBANE isn’t all bright lights and city slickers.

Science Festival seriously awesome

Don't miss the World Science Festival Brisbane!

CALLING everyone who wants to see something totally cool.

Drink where the cool kids do this summer

There are a bunch of new bars open in Brisbane, make sure you're there!

CHECK out these new funky bars.

Discover Brisbane’s laneway gems

Brisbane's laneways will surprise you.

NOT all of Brisbane City is as it seems…

Top five things to experience this summer in Brisbane

Tangalooma is amazing if you're keen for a dive, kayak or swim.

THIS summer get out and explore your capital city.

Your boots are made for walking these tours

Brisbane Greeters tours are a great way to learn the local history of the city.

YOU don’t need a bike or bus for a seriously good tour of Brisbane.

'Cut in half': Disappointment as Gladstone loses crucial town

CHANGES: What the Gladstone electorate could look like under the proposed changes.

MAJOR town that's just up the road to be cut out of our electorate.

New boss leaves horror years, embattled project

Glen Lewis will start work as managing director for Realm Resources on March 6.

NEW BOSS of major mine looks forward to putting horror years in past

Excitement builds for big, new Tannum village plan

TOUGH SLOG: Gladstone's much-loved seniors are being forced to re-locate, away from Gladstone.

PLAN to plonk new village on vacant block of land gains traction.

Local Partners

Un-American tale makes Lion weakest link in Oscars line-up

PSYCHOLOGY researchers find US films and actors most likely to win accolades at the Oscars.

Living End, Grinspoon stars hit stage for American Idiot

Chris Cheney of The Living End stars in the Australian production of Green Days musical American Idiot at Brisbane's QPAC Theatre.

TAKE a look behind the scenes of Green Day's American Idiot musical

Samuel L Jackson dismisses La La Land ahead of Oscars

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in a scene from the movie La La Land.

Hollywood actor and Oscars voter says Denzel should win top gong

Live performance of Sci-fi classic to open Science Festival

Qld Symphony Orchestra perform live to 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Festival will host A Live Presentation of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Former Family Matters stare accused of child abuse

Reginald VelJohnson, left, and Darius McCrary arrive at the TV Land Awards on Sunday, April 19, 2009 in Universal City, Calif.

Darius McCrary has been accused of child abuse

Bindi Irwin's birthday tribute to her dad

Bindi Irwin

Bindi Irwin has paid tribute to her dad on his 55th birthday

The trick homeowners are using to buy more properties

Chantelle Subritzky leaves her home each week for Airbnb guests.

Queenslanders are going down this path to help pay their mortgages

Stunning home blends South Pacific beauty with Orient style

Immaculate residence with two outdoor living areas

Gladstone's 20 cheapest properties on the market, all under $150K

DIRT CHEAP: 5/239 Sun Valley Rd, Kin Kora is selling for $140,000

PROPERTY sellers drop prices as houses and units sell for bargains.

$140k damage: landlord says property trashed, contaminated

He had what he calls "the tenants from hell"

Submarine, buses and 3000 tyres removed in $100K clean up

The list of things removed from this property is beyond astonishing

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!