Time in Gladstone teaches that there's two types of people
THERE are two types of people in Gladstone.
I know this, because I've been here three months and two weeks now, and that's long enough to know these things, right?
It's certainly long enough to make me one of the old hands in the office.
By the end of the month, we'll have four shiny new faces in The Observer newsroom. Well, newer than me, that is.
Last time this happened, I was working in brekkie television.
Our shift started at 2am - and two weeks in, the entire team cracked. (Almost the entire team - one other stayed on, and regularly fell asleep in the bathroom.)
Suddenly I had to be an instant expert, instructing new folks on everything from staying calm on camera, to where to find a coffee at 4am. Bleary-eyed guests regularly wandered dark corridors, after I accidentally sent them to the wrong floor.
And oddly, Gladstone battles the same issue.
All I want is local knowledge, and I've been quizzing everyone - from waitresses to waxers, taxi drivers to fellow folk stuck in the NightOwl traffic jam.
The most common response is a shrug: "I've only been here a few months."
But suddenly, new workmates put me in the same boat - whether it's for weekend plans or tips on the town's best takeaway.
So with a shortage of local advice, I'm making up my own insider tips.
Already they include the Cedar Galleries Sunday market, and preserves made by Jude of Boyne Island.
Booking a table on the Yacht Club balcony is worth it, and I could live off the naan at Miss India.
The Salvos op shop is the best for rummaging, and the Endeavour one for pristine finds.
And I haven't yet, but the grass tennis courts on Benaraby Rd at Wurdong look well worth investigating, along with the homebrew section of the Mt Larcom Show.
Oh, and the two types of people in Gladstone?
The type that brazenly turns right at the "No Right Turn" sign at the NightOwl exit onto Park St - and the type that indicates left, looks both ways for cops, then turns right at the "No Right Turn" sign at the NightOwl exit onto Park St.
Trust me, it's local knowledge that every new arrival can appreciate.