Lifestyle

Learn how to love yourself

Learn to love yourself and watch how that flows to other aspects of your life.
Learn to love yourself and watch how that flows to other aspects of your life. ArthurHidden

VALENTINE'S Day is fast approaching, in case you need a reminder and have been oblivious to the abundance of cards, gifts and chocolate love hearts at this time of year.

Just like other nominated days, some choose to ignore the whole thing and others like to take part. It's a personal choice, but each year I wonder why we need to have a specific day to declare our love and appreciation for that someone special.

Shouldn't we do that on a regular basis, or is it because the message isn't getting through and we need prompting? Can't we just take it for granted that our partner, spouse, significant other already loves us and doesn't need to be told? Apparently not - but why is that?

A book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman may help. He has a theory that when it comes to love and feeling loved we're not all on the same page. For those who haven't read it, he introduces five ways that connect people to feeling loved. They are words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts and quality time.

As you might imagine, if your partner appreciates hugs and having things done for them, sending them love poems and showering them with gifts may not work so well. If you've done something similar and were underwhelmed by the response or if you're simply feeling at odds in the love department you might like to read the book or visit the website.

Having said that, there may be something else to consider that comes up with many of our clients, which is that we often make sure others are feeling loved by doing one or several of the suggestions mentioned. But we rarely do it for ourselves, often because we feel it is somehow selfish.

So here is my suggestion for Valentine's Day, particularly if you are not in a relationship at the moment. How about you identify which of the five languages you connect to; there may be more than one or you can place them in order of importance, whichever you prefer, and then take action.

Buy yourself a gift, make a list of things that others say they love about you, treat yourself to a massage or just take time out to do something purely for you and for the joy of it.

Perhaps you find it easy to love and be kind to others and yet you are critical and unloving of yourself. Or maybe you rely on others to make you feel lovable at times. Well, it needs to come from within. Start with small acts of love and appreciation for yourself and take time to fully experience them. When you start to accept and love yourself that love also flows out to others.

Rowena Hardy is a facilitator, performance coach and partner of Minds Aligned: www.mindsaligned.com.au

Topics:  advice health mental health new-year-new-you self-love



10 best street art spots to take an Insta selfie

IF YOU are in need of a few trendy new Instagram snaps, then get your phone and selfie-stick ready and head to Brisbane.

Where to find the best coffee

Strauss is known for its superb brew.

COFFEE snobbery is at an all-time high.

Theatre royalty graces Brisbane stage

Don't miss Charles Edwards in this incredible theatre performance.

WHEN acting royalty comes to town, you sit up and take notice.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls…find them on these drives!

The Scenic Rim is just one place nearby that you'll love.

BRISBANE isn’t all bright lights and city slickers.

Your boots are made for walking these tours

Brisbane Greeters tours are a great way to learn the local history of the city.

YOU don’t need a bike or bus for a seriously good tour of Brisbane.

Drink where the cool kids do this summer

There are a bunch of new bars open in Brisbane, make sure you're there!

CHECK out these new funky bars.

Discover Brisbane’s laneway gems

Brisbane's laneways will surprise you.

NOT all of Brisbane City is as it seems…

Power price to kill Gladstone jobs, quick

Coal generic Hay Point Coal Terminal stacker retriver

Change is needed for the state's power prices.

'Bad year': Man has sex with young girl, gives ice to work mate

Tyson Raymond Smith.

NOW, the poor young girl can't get over it.

Cost of Gladstone mayor's high-profile visit revealed

LOTS OF CASH: Gladstone Regional Council Mayor Matt Burnett and Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk discuss the water dividends.

Gladstone mayor Matt Burnett will fight for our region's jobs.

Local Partners

Jimmy Kimmel opens up about Oscars stuff-up

Academy Awards host Jimmy Kimmel gives his take on the epic Oscars envelope error: “It was the weirdest TV finale since ‘Lost’”

Groom threatens to walk out of Married At First Sight

Andrew is just about done with his “horrible” relationship with Cheryl.

ANOTHER explosive breakup is looming after a disastrous home visit.

3D printers that make human body parts are almost here

SCIENCE FESTIVAL: Naomi Paxton will be in Gladstone with the Flying Scientists program for the World Science Festival on Friday and Saturday.

'Fully restored': 3D printers can make human body parts

'I wasn't naked': Blanca Blanco speaks out

Blanca Blanco arriving at the 89th Academy Awards. Picture: Ian West/PA WireSource:AAP

"It was a nude colour, it matches my skin, so I wasn’t naked.''

‘IT’S A LITTLE SAD’: Trump makes Oscars bungle all about him

US President Donald Trump claims Hollywood's elite were too busy mocking him to pay attention on Oscars night.

Donald Trump ‘explains’ Oscars stuff up.

Lama and Sarah’s ‘epic’ MKR fail

My Kitchen Rules contestants Lama and Sarah.

Tempers flare as Lebanese feast turns into an epic fail.

Oscars 2017: How did biggest award get stuffed up?

Presenter Warren Beatty shows the envelope with the actual winner for best picture as host Jimmy Kimmel, left, looks on at the Oscars on Sunday, Feb. 26, 2017, at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. The winner was originally announced as La La Land, but was later corrected to Moonlight.

'Guys in headsets starting buzzing around. They took the envelope.'

Casino boss loses $4m on waterfront Sunshine Coast home

The owner of this stunning Noosa home accepted much less than he had initially wanted for the home.

When illness struck owner forced to try and cash out of property

Price drop as Gladstone's best suburbs to buy a house revealed

Aerial View overlooking Kin Kora residential area, Gladstone.



Photo Brenda Strong / The Observer

HUGE price drop in a select few Gladstone suburbs reveals best buys.

Loaded Chinese family excited about buying Heron Island

The Heron Island Wedding Expo is set to offer people a great chance to get all the information they need on having a luxurious Heron Island Wedding. Photo Contributed

The long-term future of the resort and improvements were discussed.

Mining homes dive: $600k homes sell for $120k-$300k

18 Yeates Street, Moranbah sold for $135,000 in December, after being repossessed by a bank. The owners bought for $545,000 in August, 2011.

The economy still has two speeds, but with a painful twist

Mackay's property market climbing like a Rocket Man

Renewed confidence in Mackay means more homes are being snapped up by those eager to plant their roots in the region.

There's movement in the real estate sector and it's all positive.

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!