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How someone justifies their decisions says a lot

JUSTIFY: How do you make decisions?
JUSTIFY: How do you make decisions? Thinkstock

HOW do you make decisions? Do you know?

When it comes to making a decision do you make great decisions that really work for you and take you in the direction that you want to go in?

Or, do you make decisions on the fly that work for the moment and then you have to spend endless time afterwards cleaning up the mess?

Or, do you make decisions that afterwards you hold your head in your hands and moan: "What did I do that for..."?

Now, decisions can be on issues both big and small.

Decisions happen every day, and usually form the fabric of our daily life.

What are you going to eat for breakfast being one of those decisions.

What does this matter, you might think?

Well, what you eat for breakfast may ether vitalise you for the day, or make you sluggish and dull.

Paul Stewart is a Personal Coach with Compassion Coaching.
Paul Stewart is a Personal Coach with Compassion Coaching. Contributed

Depending on what you have on, this could have big consequences for performance and outcomes.

One of the interesting tell-tale signs for me about the kind of decision maker that somebody is, is their ability to justify their decisions.

Now tuning in to justification is a bit of an art, and to understand it, it helps to break it down a bit.

Let's look at it this way:

"Just if I can get you to understand where I am coming from..."

"Just if I can get you to see it my way..."

"Just if I can get you to see how right it is what I am saying..."

"Just if I…"

"Just if I…"

Just-if-I.

Justify.

Part of the way the game of justification works is to put forward an argument about how right one of your decisions are to try and convince someone else of the rightness of what you are saying… usually because you don't truly believe it yourself.

Not wholly and completely.

While certainly it might serve to ease a slightly guilty conscience at that moment, in doing so it prevents you from feeling whole, complete, and in integrity with yourself.

Knowing this, if somebody else believes it, then you don't have to.

You are off the hook then, because somebody else is carrying the burden of responsibility for your decision… or at least, that is what we can tell ourselves.

Being on the other end of receiving justification, depending on what our relationship with the justifier is, can be potent.

It can feel like we can get to care for that person by agreeing with them.

Or it can feel like being overwhelmed, so we don't know where to turn, so we can blindly agree with them.

Then the justifier gets to sit back, somehow no longer responsible for their decision.

So, when people around you are speaking, tune in to see how and how much they are justifying themselves.

And look at yourself, and ask yourself, what do I do when I make a decision which doesn't completely work for me.

And if you want to learn to make better quality decisions for yourself, then get in touch with me.

Topics:  counselling gladstone man alive opinion paul stewart



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