It’s not all plain sailing when you hang out in airports

AIRPORTS are interesting places. Too much time spent in them of late has prompted this realisation, mainly due to the people-watching factor.

When you start to rack up frequent flyer points, you begin to notice trends.

Seasoned traveller or not, it should be clear that airport security is at an all time high.

Anyone involved in the recent evacuations at Gladstone Airport should know that mentioning the "B" word, even in jest, just ain't on, and as you would have read in this week's paper the resulting fine isn't pretty.

You do that and you're an *insert expletive*.

Many people complain about how long everything takes because of these heightened security measures.

However, as long as you're not stuck behind those silly folks who have to go through the security gate four times - taking something new out of their pockets each time - the process is speedy as.

This is coming from someone who, unless I go through security with a slightly ethnic looking companion - yes, that happened - will be picked for random testing every time.

This is why fashion counts. It may have once been glamorous to fly, now not so much it seems.

Airports are packed with pyjamas and tights (even though they aren't pants) because comfort is king when you're about to be sitting for hours.

I can guarantee that you'll find a jostler on your plane. Someone who is far more important than you and has to shove ahead.

With options aplenty, there's no excuse to wear things that will set off the metal detector or not to take them off before entering the security line.

And you know how I know that guy in his 20s doesn't mind the odd bit of Katy Perry (her music mind you)?

It is because people like him so generously share their musical tastes with the rest of the gate because they forget to plug in headphones.

I wouldn't mind so much if it was socially appropriate to get my groove on.

On a positive note - please don't stress about taking your kids. I guarantee as long as they're not a screaming mess their cuteness is entertaining bored people like myself.

But I'll be damned, every time people crowd towards the gate as soon as the boarding call comes over the loud-speaker, like chooks hearing the dinner bell.

I just like to sit back and wait until the crowd dwindles before I get into the queue.

It's kind to those who can't stand long or are juggling half the plane worth of kiddies, plus it means less time next to a potentially smelly seat partner.

Perhaps the reason people can't stand the person they're sitting next to on the plane is why exiting becomes so difficult once you're at the other end of the trip.

It should be done in an orderly fashion, row by row.

However, I can guarantee that you'll find a jostler on your plane. Someone who is far more important than you and has to shove ahead.

I'm not sure if you've noticed this but people walk super fast when they get off an airplane. I do it too. It's as if the momentum from flying continues.

Most of these people will arrive at the luggage carousel only to discover that they have to wait another 15 minutes for their luggage.

And that first piece of luggage on the carousel will not belong to anyone. Ever.

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