Humour Column: It's time to fix the old Post Office clock
Folks, I think I can fix the Old Post Office Clock but I'm going to need a crazy teenager, a nutty professor, some plutonium, a DeLorean sports car (with working flux capacitor and OUTATIME number plates) along with a good ol' fashion thunderstorm.
Organising the thunderstorm could be a bit tricky.
For those of you wondering if I've busted open The Observer's liquor cabinet again, I'm actually referring to the movie Back to the Future and how the fictional town of Hill Valley's clock tower stopped working at 10.04pm when lightning fried it's internals during a scientific experiment to alter time.
If you're one of the six people on earth who hasn't seen the movie, don't worry, it pops up on tele with monotonous regularity.
In fact I wish I could go back in time, because if I'd known Back to The Future would be screened monthly on TV for the rest of eternity, I wouldn't have bothered paying six bucks to see it at the drive-in in 1985.
Anyway, I don't know when, why or how our old Post Office clock stopped working, but I'm fairly certain it didn't involve anything exciting as a DeLorean speeding up Goondoon Street at 88mph (142kph) during a thunderstorm.
Perhaps someone lost the key needed to wind up the huge springs?
In fact, I can't even remember if it used to chime every hour?
I do recall in 1993 when we were living away from Gladdy town, the Grand Hotel burnt down and the unused post office was turned into a temporary pub while the New Grand was built.
My mate swears he got extremely drunk at the Post Office pub one Friday night and woke up in Alice Springs two days later covered in stamps with a 'Do Not Return' sticker on his forehead.
None of us believed him as everyone knows the mail doesn't get delivered on Sundays.
What I do know is anyone wanting to check the time has four different options to choose from depending on which side of the tower they're looking at.
I don't know what it will take to get our old clock working again but it's definitely time.