How to pull a long-weekend sickie ... and get away with it

It's harder to pull a sickie from work these days with the need for a doctor's certificate.
It's harder to pull a sickie from work these days with the need for a doctor's certificate. Chris Chan

TODAY is the 29th of January. Not only is it Tuesday but it's also the day after a public holiday, so you may be reading this in bed at the moment as you've called in "sick".

If this is you and you are truly crook then get better soon by all means, but if you've just phoned the boss and put on a crap voice to get out of work, feel very ashamed.

Today is one of those days where statistics say more than 170,000 people around Australia and Eastern Australia (New Zealand) take the day off to get over having a big weekend celebrating our national day.

Have a think about it.

There's quite a few of us who've taken a day off over the years just for the hell of it, perhaps to sit in bed all day with a massive hangover.

Perhaps you've taken the day off to go see a show or go on a lunch date with a relative who is visiting town and you don't want to take a day out of your holidays.

The last thing you want is you saying you had the flu and your wife talks about how the Heron Island holiday was a blast.

May I just say, tread very carefully, as in many of the cases it's against the law.

Lawyers have said that the old "must have a valid doctor's certificate" to get the day off is pretty much what it takes nowadays, especially after a long weekend.

Getting Mum to call up and tell the boss that little Johnny isn't well won't cut it anymore, especially if you've just had your 48th birthday.

So if I can make some suggestions to help you for next time, or even later on today, try these for size.

Call the boss and tell him you've just realised you are pregnant and are having terrible morning-after cramps and sickness.

You won't be able to get to a doctor for days so the certificate won't be needed.

This may in fact be a little difficult to pull off if you are male, but give it a crack if you want.

The other one you can try is that you've lost the keys to the handcuffs and can't leave the house (let alone the bedroom) to drive to work until you find them.

Whatever excuse you use, make sure you've flagged it with the other half so you are both telling the same story, if in fact it ever comes up in conversation.

The last thing you want is you saying you had the flu and your wife talks about how the Heron Island holiday was a blast.

As my old boss used to say, if it's self-inflicted, come into work and suffer like the rest of us.



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