It's game on to discover a sport that doesn't hurt so much
IS THERE such a thing as a safe sport?
I'm asking because either I don't know how to play properly and keep getting hurt, or maybe I'm just playing sports that will hurt you no matter what.
Two weeks ago I got a hockey ball flush on the old snozza, and over the weekend just gone I got a cracker of a ball on the ankle which blew up bigger than Queensland's debt.
Over the past few weeks we've had the ambulance called a few times with busted cheeks, broken legs, multiple stiches on the melons and frequent bruises from that little white ball.
Please tell me, is hockey a safe sport? Perhaps the way we play isn't really helping.
My kids play tennis and they dance, hardly an injury-prone sport.
I'm trying to gauge what sport I should take up next, even after I finish off this season of touch footy. Yes, I've pulled a few muscles playing that weird game but at my age that isn't anything new.
I'm making a list of sports that won't hurt me. At the top of the list would have to be chess.
How can someone get injured playing that? The only way I see would have to be your head hitting the table because of boredom.
How about computer games on the iPad? That can't hurt, can it? Maybe your fingers can get injured with all that quick movement on the small screen.
Olympic walking, world competition staring games, speed dating, and national stop-watch flick games could be some suggestions that I could take up.
They don't look exciting but if it reduces the risk of having to spend time in hospital, I'm all for it.
To all those still playing high-risk sports like rugby league, AFL, soccer, spear fishing, roman Greek wrestling, darts, running, lion taming, rock climbing, hanging out laundry and bull fighting, I think your time may be up.
My suggestion is to find something less physical and enjoy life.
As Dale Ware once told me, once you turn 50 you need to slow down, book that retirement home room, and get ready for the good life. Yes, I know Dale turned 51 only yesterday, but he's one man who shows all the signs.
Enjoy life everyone. One last thing, does anyone know how to get a hockey ball out of my ankle? It's still stuck.