Couple slammed for seeking sperm donor online
A MARIAN couple who can't conceive posted in the Mackay, Buy, Swap and Sell Facebook page seeking a sperm donor, only to be left feeling hurt and devastated.
The 38-year-old woman, who asked not to be named, said she had tried for a baby for almost 10 years with her husband and was running out of affordable options before it was too late.
They couldn't afford IVF, she said, so she and her partner had been tested a couple of years ago and discovered his sperm were "dead".
Hoping it couldn't possibly be true, he was tested twice more after that, only to be let down again and again, until they finally accepted they couldn't have children together.
"I was devastated," she said, clearly still heartbroken. "He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he's been healthy his whole life."
The woman said after much discussion they then made the tough decision to find a sperm donor - something she has discovered is easier said than done.
"I want to do self-insemination with a donor and was hoping there is a wonderful man out there who would love to please help me become a mum," the online advertisement read.
"Looking for: Caucasian, 5'7" and taller, hair colour: not fussed, eye colour: not fussed, STD free, some family medical history will be required too please.
"Willing to co-parent if the donor would like or another arrangement can be made."
The woman said her husband had told her a lesbian couple in Mackay had not long prior posted an advertisement in the Mackay Classifieds page, so it wasn't the first time Facebook was a platform for seeking sperm donors.
After working up the courage to post the ad in an attempt to start a family, she said she had been "bullied" and the response was "really hurtful".
She removed the post after it had received around 35 comments of "harassment", feeling shattered and emotional in the days to come.
"Guys with kids were saying, if this was my wife I'd smack her if she put it on Facebook like that," she said.
"Another comment said 'all you'll get is crack head sperm'."
She said the response made her "question whether it's even worth the effort, the drama and the pain".
The woman also mentioned her husband is well aware she's looking for a sperm donor and he would be happy for her if she did find one - as long as she did thorough research on the family and health history of the donor.
She said there weren't many people that weren't nasty, although one woman had messaged her apologising for the rudeness of others and wishing her the best.
However, the part that hurt the most, was not receiving any sperm offers.
"This has caused me so much stress, so much depression, anxiety, panic attacks, where I actually go to the doctor to help me calm down," she said.
"I just want to have a baby. So bad. I just want to have a little mini-me running around with me."
She said in the back of her mind she knows she's meant to be a mum and having a sister with five children, it's hard to not feel heartbreak.
While she can still conceive, she said her egg supply was meant to be around 15 for her age it was nine, so her chances were only going to diminish.
The woman said she feels desperate and wants to make a call out for anyone in the area willing to help her become a mum.
She said she would be monitoring the comments for a positive response.