COMMENTS: Whatever you do, kids, don't eat Santa's biscuits
SANTA Claus is a very strange bloke, no doubt about it.
We revere this obese, hairy fellow who flies through the night on a sled pulled by reindeer, creeps into our children's bedrooms and nicks our beer and biscuits.
We take this tale with not a blink. Just all-encompassing acceptance that this is the way things are.
So we would do well to remember just how hog wild our own traditions are when we consider the bizarre Christmas practices around the world and think, 'Oh, you loony foreigners.'
We are really no different.
That's bananas, that is:
INDIA has only 2.3% of its enormous population identifying as Christian but that equates to about 28 million people.
Firs and pine trees are in short supply, so adherents to the religion usually opt instead to decorate banana or mango trees.
Deck your plates with larvae:
SOUTH Africans celebrate Christ's birth by eating the deep-fried caterpillars of the emperor moth.
They also tell the tale of Danny, a boy whose grandmother got upset when he ate all the biscuits left out for Santa.
Children are told she killed him, and his ghost haunts homes at Christmas time. A delightful bedtime story.
A devil of a time:
GUATEMALANS sweep every speck of dust from their homes on Christmas, then every household in the neighbourhood gathers their efforts into a big single pile.
Then they put an effigy of the Devil on top and burn it, because, you know, why not?
Goblin down Christmas lunch:
GREEKS continue the "scare the living heck out of your kids" theme with the story of the kallikantzaroi, a race of malevolent goblins who live underground.
Apparently they rise from their subterranean dwellings for the 12 days of Christmas and, rather than leave presents, wreak havoc by urinating on flowerbeds, spoiling food and just being mischievous little so-and-sos.
Must be something in the egg nog.