Opinion

Caught in aisle of dilemma over buying condoms for teen

I HAVE a confession…..I buy condoms for my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend.

Is that right or wrong? I'm still not sure I know the answer to that, so I'll let you be the judge.

The first time I did it, it was nerve wracking - it had been years since I had found myself stopping at this particular section of the supermarket and I was surprised to see that, just like milk isn't milk anymore, condoms are not condoms anymore - the choice is ridiculous.

So how did I end up red faced in the health and beauty aisle of Coles? I guess it's because I try to be a good mum, the kind of mum who will do the right thing for my kids and support them in whatever decision they make, even if it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

When my girl started dating a boy who was a little older than her we had "the talk" - you know the one where the experts, whose names are splashed all over those parenting books, advise you to say "come and talk to me if you think you are ready to have sex".

Well, a few months later she came to me saying it was time. Of course I forgot what the book told me  to say next so I had to wing it.

Miss 16 and I have always had a pretty good relationship so the following discussion was not that awkward, although I was a little sad that my baby was growing up so fast.

We covered all the basics about not being pressured into anything, about feeling comfortable with her decision and that she wasn't doing it just because everyone else was.

There may or may not have been some eye-rolling going on - I can't say for sure because I was too busy trying to sound all casual and cool, which is not quite how I was feeling on the inside.

 

What would you do if your teen was contemplating having sex?

This poll ended on 30 December 2012.

Current Results

Buy them contraceptives

64%

Tell them to buy contraceptives

19%

Encourage them to change their mind

15%

This is not a scientific poll. The results reflect only the opinions of those who chose to participate.

I might be hurtling towards middle age but I can still remember being a teenager "in love" so I understood feelings. And they are a cute couple, he adores her and she is so happy when he is around. Best off all they are happy to spend time just hanging out at our place, which makes me very happy.

The other reality is that I can't control her every move - he has a licence and if my memory serves correctly plenty of my friends lost their virginity in the back seat of their boyfriend's car. And despite the generation gap there are some things that never change. So, in no time at all she was on the pill.

But guarding against pregnancy is not enough is it? So that's how I came to be standing in front of row upon row of condoms, considering my options and feeling just a little hypocritical for having once judged another parent who admitted to me that she was buying condoms for her son.

"Ribbed for increased pleasure"…I think not. No way was I picking the variety boxes of rainbow and fruit flavours because THIS IS NOT A GAME PEOPLE.

This is real life and this is serious.

The conversation going on in my head was enough to make me blush and think about walking away.

But this is not a time to chicken out, so a decision had to be made - sensible and basic it was. And even better, they were on special (Score ....hmm maybe that's not best word I could have thought of). In the trolley they went, well and truly hidden under the loaves of bread and bags of fruit.

That night I handed them over to Miss 16 with a lecture about how protection was not just her responsibility but something they both had to take care of.

I also told her that part of my role as her mum was to make sure she was in a position to protect herself from sexually transmitted diseases as well as pregnancy and that was why I would buy the condoms for them.

I didn't want there to be any excuse for them not having protection whenever and wherever they needed it.

Sometimes I worry that my decision is wrong and that I'm encouraging them to have sex, but then I think that if they wanted to have sex they would do it with or without my blessing, just as teenagers (excluding me, of course) have been doing for generations past.

So, now it's over to you: What do you think of my decision and have you ever bought condoms for your teenagers?

* Life with teenagers can be like an out of control roller coaster ride and when there's no one else to turn to for support or a second opinion, I go undercover to blog about the everyday dramas of raising my otherwise perfect teens.

Topics:  editors picks opinion parenting



Six hideaway bars to escape winter chill

THE last season of GoT finally uttered the words we’ve been waiting six seasons to hear and now that the weather has cooled down in Brisbane, “winter is here.”

Our six art gallery picks for a creative day out

Queensland's Gallery of Modern Art always has a fun, exciting and interesting exhibition on show for the whole family to enjoy.

YOU'D be mistaken in thinking Brisbane wasn't an arty city.

Brisbane's arts and culture events centre stage

You loved the film, now you're about to love the musical. Don't miss The Bodyguard The Musical in Brisbane this July.

THE arts and culture events you don't want to miss.

Homewares stores to fulfil your Instagram dreams

No Caption

You too can become an Insta-star with these fab stores.

Date nights under $50

Nothing is more romantic than a picnic with a cracking view.

NOT every date has to cost you a bomb.

Top 10 Brisbane experiences to cross off your bucket list

Do yourself a favour and get amongst the food truck scene. Eat Street is a great place to start.

A GOOD bucket list doesn’t have to span continents or cost millions.

Six mega sporting events you need to be at this year

Don't miss all the action trackside this season.

IF THERE is one thing Brisbane does damn well, it’s play host.

Gladstone region's fattest suburbs revealed

There are serious issues with people's weight throughout Australia.

NEW figures show Central Queensland's most obese or overweight areas

Gladstone turns it on to welcome cruise ship passengers

Judy White and Dianne Kirby enjoy the Feast on East markets at East Shores Precinct.

PHOTOS: Did our photographer snap you?

LIVE UPDATES: Family told to give up prisoners if whereabouts known

Capricorn Correction Centre prison generic.   Photo: Chris Ison / The Morning Bulletin

RESIDENTS urged to "be aware" as police search for escapees.

Local Partners

Battle raging over money to fund CQ roads

Funding for CQ's road upgrades is being ripped out of the region leaving our projects languishing at the starting line says QLD Minister.


Win a $1000

GROCERY GIFT CARD!
Learn More

What to expect at Birds of Tokyo's Ipswich gig

The band will perform at the Racehorse Hotel on Friday.

BAND member Glen Sarangapany talks music, pub grub and doing shoeys

What public holidays are left in 2017

Ipswich residents will get the day off tomorrow for the show.

IPSWICH residents will get tomorrow off for the show

Caitlyn comes home to launch debut album

Gympie's Caitlyn Shadbolt will launch here debut album Songs On My Sleeve at an exclusive all-ages concert in Gympie on Friday, May 26.

Win tickets to Caitlyn's album launch

Shot at the live shows slips through Sally's fingers

SUNSHINE Coast singer's dramatic elimination from The Voice nearly saw her form a duo with her battle round opponent.

Gladstone turns it on to welcome cruise ship passengers

Judy White and Dianne Kirby enjoy the Feast on East markets at East Shores Precinct.

PHOTOS: Did our photographer snap you?

The 'pirate' ship welcoming Gladstone on board

HISTORIC STEP: Graeme Wylie built the replica 15th century caravel, Notorious.

'Never found the remains': the historic 'pirate' ship

Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor split after 17 years

They were married in May 2000 and have two children, who they said will remain their priority.

Ben Stiller and his wife Christine Taylor have called it a day

Why The Voice hasn't produced a star

Boy George responds to Brittania Clifford-Pugh's heart-warming message.

It's the industry, not the show, says Boy George

These actors hated their movies and didn’t mind admitting it

Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans in a scene from GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Every year, Hollywood blesses us with plenty of God awful movies.

Miranda Kerr and fiance hang up backyard tent for wedding

The decorators and caterers are arriving for the final preparations for the wedding of Miranda Kerr and Evan Spiegel. Pictures: Splash

Evan Spiegel and Miranda Kerr are set to marry today

Man's amazing comeback from monster crisis

Pat O'Driscoll agents Penny Keating and Doug Webber sold 56 Agnes St, The Range at auction over the weekend.

NOT long ago, he sold his possessions to pay staff. Now he's back.

Report reveals progress on $319m airport upgrade

Aerials of the Sunshine Coast.Jetstar plane in front of the Susnhine Coast terminal, Sunshine Coast Airport.

Over two dozen government approvals needed for airport expansion

Lost dough leaves sour taste after company collapse

Kathleen and John Mahoney from Sugar and Spice Bakery were stung after the collapse of Cantro Pty Ltd and are still owed money.

Supermarket operator collapse leaves sour taste for bakery

Open for inspection homes May 25-31

Check out this weekend's homes open for inspection

How Toowoomba house prices compare in Australia

For sale sign in front of home.

Here's what $700,000 will buy you in Toowoomba, Brisbane and Sydney

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!