Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth editors picks miranda kerr model motherhood mum



PLANE STUPID: Aussies' biggest holiday pains and travel gripes revealed

File Photo.

Experiencing constant travel pains? You're not alone.

OPINION: Copped an unwanted SMS? You'll be right m8

MISSTEP?: Same-sex marriage campaigners sent out a mass text on Saturday (file photo).

What ever happened to the tough Aussie battler?

Boyne Island pharmacist warns community to test for 'problem'disease

GOOD TO KNOW: Pharmacist Nancy Griffin performs a blood glucose test on Betty Burns at the Boyne Tannum Discount Drug Store.

Get tested and lower your diabetes risk, expert warns.

Local Partners

Biggest Loser trainer 'didn't know she was in labour'

TIFFINY Hall and her husband Ed Kavalee welcomed a beautiful boy named Arnold into the world two weeks ago and according to mum, he made quite the entrance.

Rise of the nudist: Our next generation

Hitting up a nude beach in Sydney is a popular activity for the YNOA. Picture: news.com.au Meet the Young Nudists of AustraliaSource:Supplied

Being nude is a “hugely empowering and liberating experience”

'My son's on trial': Dad's fight for gay son

Colin and Heather Mildwaters and their son, Grant, have been letterbox dropping their story of their gay son Grant around the Coast in a bid to get people to vote yes in the same sex marriage plebiscite.

Father says it's time to stand up and be counted for equality

'Sore back' turns into paralysing nightmare for this dad

Christian Finck, 34, was diagnosed earlier this month with Cauda Equina Syndrome, a spinal cord tumour which blocks the flow of spinal fluid and pushes on nerves.

Coast man goes to sleep not knowing if he'll wake up paralysed

USQ boldly going where no man has gone before

The Mount Kent Observatory at Cambooya.

Explore new worlds at 2017 USQ Festival of Astronomy and Space

Coast mum helped others 24 hours before house fire 'took everything'

FUNDRAISER: A Gofundme account has been set up for Coast mum Nikki Cooper and her two sons after they lost everything in a house fire at Aroona on Monday morning.

Fundraising begins for generous mother of two who lost everything