Dad's grief and guilt

SOME mornings Andrew Brown wakes up with snatches of a dream he's had about his son, AJ.

"Then I realise he's not here no more."

AJ died in the Kmart car park on March 31 last year, just hours shy of his 14th birthday.

He'd been chroming with his mates.

His dad had no clue his son had taken up the dangerous habit.

"I didn't see that train coming, mate," Andrew said.

"Everyone's got the warning on heroin and speed.

"Speed kills! All these ads on TV, they'll advertise that. We all know about it.

"Not this killer."

Andrew's since discovered that AJ was sniffing deodorant vapours.

At just $4.50 at a local shop, it's a "cheap, accessible" drug, Andrew said.

Andrew remembers "a proud little lad" who loved fishing and aspired to go to university.

AJ's little sister, Taylah, 12, tries to keep her mind off her brother's death. When asked if she thinks about AJ often, her answer is tragically simple.

"Not really, because I would cry...," she trailed off.

But AJ is never far from his dad's thoughts.

He woke up crying this week after having a nightmare about AJ.

"He'd been dead for 10 days, but they brought him back.

"He was red in the cheeks, because he was alive, but he'd been under the ground for 10 days.

"He wasn't himself, he was like Frankenstein..."

Had Andrew known the symptoms associated with chroming, he believes he could've prevented AJ's death.

"He'd be alive today. That's what's f***ing getting me."

Four days before AJ died, he ran from his bedroom screaming, "Snakes!".

Then he fell flat on his face and his heart stopped. AJ was resuscitated that time.

Now, Andrew understands that AJ was hallucinating - a side effect of sniffing.

"I put it together after his death, after I'd found out what the symptoms were. I've gone, 'Shit - that's what it was'."

Community leader Cedric Williams has known Andrew since he was just a boy.

He interjected here.

"If he'd have known, when he saw that, he would've pulled it up there and then."

"I wish I could've saved him," Andrew said.

"I felt guilty at Christmas time with everyone having fun and he's dead under the ground..."

SIGNS

• Finding unusual amounts of glues, lighter refills or aerosol containers in user's possession.
• Chemical smells from breath or clothing.
• Paint or other chemical stains on face, hands or clothing.
• Unexpected and rapid 'drunken behaviour'.

- Source: National Inhalants Information Service

 

HELP

Alcohol & Drug Information Service 24-hour help line - 1800 177 833

Community leader Cedric Williams is also a port of call for youth and parents affected. Call him on 0439 934 970.