Nobody knows who he is, but The Observer has a new man on the ground in Gladstone sniffing out stories of love, lust and everything in between.
IT'S hard to work out if a woman is interested in you. They're not simple beasts like us. What we want, we ask for.
The female of the species will make even the most simple of desires complicated. She won't want fries at the McDonalds drive-thru, but will be perfectly content with eating all of yours when you get home.
We can never seem to work out what women want. It's a riddle us men have to ponder for all of our manhood, and nowhere is it more evident than the dating game.
Fear not, men! I have travelled to the farthest ends of the World Wide Web to find six signs/clues that your girl wants you.
She shows an active interest in your otherwise boring life: Remember that big fish you caught? Or that try you made at touch?
To her it's the most interesting story she has heard all day. Or at least it will seem like it. She will pretend it means something to her just to have the chance to talk to you. Yes, that's right, men, women do that as well.
Body language: Okay, there are probably hundreds of cues here to look out for, but here are a few to keep in mind: she licks her lips often, sits on the edge of her seat, raises her eyebrows often and she leans forward when she talks to you.
Honestly, guys, put down Men's Fitness for a week and read a book on body language. It's worth learning.
Ego stroking: If she is stroking your ego like a pet cat, then more than likely she is interested. Be on the look out for sentences like, "You are so strong" or "You are so funny!" especially if you know you're neither.
Touchy touchy: If she is finding any reason she can to touch you, it's a good sign. Be careful though - some girls are just naturally touchy. You will have to decide if she is one those types. Try touching back. See how she reacts.
Funny man: If you are like Jerry Seinfeld around her and she is laughing at all of your jokes, even the ones that aren't funny, consider that a sign. Attraction has a way of turning any man into a comedian.
Contact: If she is calling you, texting you or finding any way she can to meet up with you, she is letting you know she is interested. Take the hint!
The list could have been longer. My recommendation is: don't just take one of the signs as a sure-fire - rather look for a few of them all together.
In the end, the best way to find out if she is interested is to ask her on a date. Even if she isn't sure she is interested, she might give you a shot.
The longer you leave it, the more likely you will end up in the dreaded friend-zone. Remember the golden rule. If you want the girl, you have to risk losing her.
Got a relationship question? Ask our Man About Town: email@example.com.