Opinion

Sharknado would have made Beth's acting performance

KILLER PERFORMANCE: What a star.
KILLER PERFORMANCE: What a star.

ABOUT to Move Overseas Brain. It's a serious condition. And I've got it. Bad.

The symptoms: very easily distracted and physically unable to do any work.

Okay, so this goody-two shoes is definitely still doing her fair share.

It's just taking longer than usual, because I've been watching so many bad shark movie trailers.

Sharknado's the best. A tornado of vicious man eaters. And terrible, terrible acting. With fantastic one-liners like this little gem:

"We can't just wait here for sharks to rain down on us."

No, you absolutely cannot!

The same dude who delivers that sage advice then mows through a flying shark with a chainsaw.

Two words: pure gold.

Then there's Sharkoctopus. Equally good. And by good, I mean so bad it's great.

The navy has created a superweapon. It's a lethal shark/octopus with barbed tentacles that slice right through hot chicks like they're butter.

And let me point out, all the actresses are babes.

Nowhere is safe.

"Sharktopus won't be kept at bay…And you can never ever, ever get away," goes the theme song's chorus.

And it's true. Sharkoctopus attacks a saucy lady making sandcastles on the beach. And plucks a bungie jumper off the end of a rope. Awesome.

Now, I've done a spot of bad acting myself. Not in a shocking shark flick, darn it - that would be excellent. Rather a Vietnamese telly commercial for cake.

It was about three years ago, but apparently it is still on the box. And on billboards around Saigon.

It's set in Rome, complete with overlay of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Colosseum.

And then there's a close-up of this girl's gob as I down a piece of Hura deli sponge.

It's a superb performance. Truly.

But a Sharknado would have really made it.

Topics:  acting, beth young, movie, opinion, shark




Boyne man on front lawn with sign to score job: 'It's hard'

Robert Webb has been unemployed for a long time so is hoping this sigh in his front yard will help. Family Abbey, 11, Wendy, Skye, 13, and Brodie, 15, hope it does as well.

HIS kids found it embarrassing but he's determined.

18 Syrian crew let off ship after rushed security checks

OS35, the ship which was carrying the Syrian sailors.

The ship docked in Gladstone on July 10.

New Gladstone Ports Corporation CEO has been announced

Peter O'Sullivan has been announced as the new chief executive officer of GLadstone Ports Corporation.

The future of Gladstone Ports Corporation is in new hands

Latest deals and offers

Lady Gaga is a godmother

Lady Gaga has become a godmother to her friends' daughter

Will Turbo be taken off TV?

Memes about Turbo are flowing on Social media.

PEOPLE want Turbo taken off TV, but will Prospero Productions the ma

Police charge in after Lohan claims fiance tried to kill her

"You tried to kill me. You're a f*****g psycho".

Prince Harry regrets not talking about Diana's death

Diana, Princess of Wales, enjoys a ride on the Maid of Mist in Niagara Falls, Ont., in this Oct., 1991, with her sons Prince Harry, then 7, and Prince William, then 9.

The royal was 12 years old when his mother was killed

Oh Kim, be careful with the spray tan when breast feeding

Kim Kardashian West accidentally smothered North's face in fake tan

Michael Hutchence doco to show a life lived INXS

Michael Hutchence.

Michael Hutchence will live in tell-all feature-length documentary.

You can own this Queensland town for just $1

Yelarbon

Unprecedented auction of town's business centre with no reserve

Work starts on $15M Caloundra apartment building

Turning the first sod at the Aqua View Apartments site in Kings Beach are (from left) husband-and-wife developers Alex Yuan and Stella Sun with construction company Tomkins director Mike Tomkins and Councillor Tim Dwyer.

Developers excited about addition to Kings Beach skyline

72-year-old Coast developer set to start new project

GREEN LIGHT: The Cosmopolitan has been approved for development at Cotton Tree.

Meet the Canberran set to deliver another chapter for Coast suburb

Plans revealed for 1500-lot 'master-planned community'

Precinct will be bounded by Boundary St and Shoesmith Rd

Ecco Ripley sales run sparks prime release

MOVING IN: Sekisui House has announced the release of more residential blocks at Ecco Ripley.

Sekisui House is preparing to unveil more land at Ecco Ripley

The climb is slow but property on the way up

Michael Matusik, director of Matusik Property Insights.Photo Allan Reinikka / The Morning Bulletin

The improvement would be mild when compared to past cycles