Lifestyle

OPINION: Believe me mate, I'm on 'hiss' side

Greg Bray.
Greg Bray. Brenda Strong

HE WAS trying to reason with me. "Look Greg, the snake is actually more frightened than you are," said the bloke running the snake catching course. I stared at the hissing serpent in front of me and thought, "No, it isn't!"

Apparently one of the tasks in my day job is to catch and relocate any snakes that appear in the grounds of my workplace. When I was told this I wished, once again, that I'd made some better career choices.

Up 'til now I've happily relocated any snakes I've met to Snake Heaven, a grassy, warm place with plenty of lazy mice to eat and not a shovel in sight.

Nowadays it's illegal to kill snakes, which is why I've had to learn how to catch them (humanely) and relocate them. To where I haven't worked out yet, but Snake Heaven is no longer an option. But during the course I became uncomfortably aware that many of the snakes I'd relocated were actually harmless. So I did what Mr Snake Catcher asked and tried to see things from the snakes' low point of view.

Basically, snakes have only one expression and one very pointed way of communicating, eg: The "Don't get up, I'm just passing through" bite. The "Hey, that's a shiny spade you're holding" bite. "Do you have any more delicious rats hanging around your shed mate?" bite. And finally, the "I'm sick of getting stepped on, so cop this young Harry!" bite. Bite. Bite!

I eventually calmed down enough to grab the snake with my tongs, then slipped it into a special bag.

Everyone was quite relieved, especially the snake.

Folks, we naturally assume that every snake is a death-dealing, anger-filled psychopath, but they aren't.

I've certainly changed my tune after spending some time in the snakes' shoes ... well, you know what I mean.

Greg Bray blogs at www.gregbraywriter.wordpress.com.

Topics:  greg bray, on a lighter note, opinion, weekend magazine



"Melbourne-like" cafe opens in Gladstone today

ALL HANDS ON DECK: Grand opening of Fresh Fix Café on Goondoon St.

"It's like Melbourne with their lane ways"

"Don't trust indicators”: Driver trainer's message on roundabouts

Candita Hamblin explains why roudnabouts are so problematic amongst Gladstone drivers.

Indicators can't be trusted on some roundabouts.

Local Partners

Lady Gaga confirms Super Bowl show

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga to perform in coveted spot

Girls actors give emotional tributes to hit show

Actor Allison Williams

Actors farewell smash hit HBO show Girls after six seasons

Janet Jackson's pregnancy is 'best thing'

Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson can't wait to become a mum

Jay Z signs two-year movie and TV deal

Rapper Jay Z

Rapper Jay Z has signed a television and movie deal

Nowhere to Hyde: Matt Nable is Australia's man in demand

Matt Nable stars as Detective Gary Hyde in the TV series Hyde & Seek.

NABLE returns to the small screen amidst busy film work.

Marvel's Luke Cage S1E7: Manifest review

Mike Colter in a scene from the TV series Marvel's Luke Cage. Supplied by Netflix.

*WARNING: spoilers if you haven't seen Marvel's Luke Cage*

Beach-side real estate starts at $85k on Fraser Coast

HERVEY BAY REAL ESTATE: You can buy this townhouse in Scarness for under $300k.

Live your beach-living dream locally.

$40million hotel, shops development project for Mackay

Mt Pleasant hotel and retirement accommodation, proposed at 194-202 Malcomson St.

$40m development to take Mackay to 'the next level'

'Flex muscles': Gladstone suburb drops $120K

BUYERS are scooping unprecedented deals by “flexing their muscles at the table”

Few bright lights for property after mining downturn

The Gladstone Regional Council wants associated LNG companies like Bechtel to be apart of the EIS housing accommodation strategy from the outset of the projects and not mid-way through.

Tannum Sands continues to write its own property success story

Property 200m from ocean selling for just over $100K

BEACHCOMBER PARK: Work has started on a new $19.2 million development at Toogoom.

The estate's developer is offering huge discounts for early buyers.

UPDATE: Former rodeo champ's sale rained out, now back on

Larkhill local Ken Consiglio is having an auction of most of the things on his property.

'People kept showing up and we had to turn them away'