Opinion

Arachnid terrorises an oh so grown-up girl while driving

I LIKE to think of myself as a bit of a grown up.

A bit of, as Beyonce immortalized in song, an independent woman.

I own my own house (or at least have my own mortgage!), I have health and life insurance, a will and two kids who actually rely on me to be the grown up.

See - as an adult, I am all that!

But then there are times when I am reminded that, as independent and fabulous I might like to think myself, I may always be a little girl at heart who needs her Mum and Dad!

Now, I am big enough to fess up that as a teenager, although a bit of a square bear (I know, imagine right!), I still thought my parents uncool and thought I could make it in the big bad world on my own.

And thanks to the grounding my Mum gave me, I can if I need to.

BUT, one day, in the pouring rain, I needed a mercy dash to Mum and Dad.

Why? Don't laugh.

I had a whopping big, brown, hairy, MASSIVE, huge, dead set scary terrifying spider running about terrorizing me on the outside of my car.

The fact it was out and I was in - with no way of getting to me - meant absolutely nothing.

Not. Cool. Not. Funny.

So, context: I am seriously scared of spiders. I dream about them. I cannot look at them.

I screamed, this made Mum nearly pass out, and Dad calmly grabbed his hat and took a swipe!

And for the rest of that day, even though I knew it was long gone, I was checking, double-triple checking my car and the thought of those hairy legs and massive fangs (I don't care if Mum told me huntsman spiders don't have fangs!) scurrying across my windscreen sent shivers and goosebumps all over me!

Looking back (and I was stationary at the time, just FYI) had I flicked the windscreen wipers on fast enough instead of reaching for my phone to take a picture (yes! I know!) I might have gotten rid of it.

But alas. It took a phone call to my partner (1000kms away, so clearly that would prove fruitful! NOT!

He could only but laugh!) and then another call to my parents to see my car rid of said arachnid.

I pulled into their driveway, waved and gestured animatedly through the window, established it was nowhere near my door and quickly alighted.

THEN … ugh! We flicked open the boot and the nasty critter with beady eyes and fangs the size of … well - they were big, anyway - were there leering at us.

I screamed, this made Mum nearly pass out, and Dad calmly grabbed his hat and took a swipe!

It scurried up onto the boot lid and Dad had another go … this time it landed on the driveway and took the bolt.

I'm not sure where he ended up. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

All I know is I am glad he's gone.

And that the kids weren't in the car at the time.

For their sake of course, and nothing to do with my pride or ensuing embarrassment!

Topics:  humour, meredith papavasiliou, opinion, spider




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