Lifestyle

Teens just want to find place where they belong

WHEN young people hit the teenage years and face the tasks of adolescence, in conjunction with all the physical and hormonal changes which occur, comes a massive change in their identity.

Adolescents move into a time of drastic change and conflict.

They reach a point where they have finished with certain tasks of childhood development, and take the first tentative steps into adulthood.

Parents often declare the teenage years are among the most challenging.

Loving a teenager through a time of storm and stress, rebellion and defiance can drive some parents to the point of despair.

Some parents start to distance themselves from their teenagers, telling themselves that they are moving into adulthood now and stepping back to allow them room to make their own mistakes.

In so doing the teenager may feel the parent withdraw from the way the child in them wants to be loved, and feel rejected, abandoned and alone.

Some parents will fear the dangers of the world and become overly-protective and restrictive.

A teenager will feel crushed and resentful of their parents as the emerging adult in them feels undermined.

Adolescence is a very important time for parents. It is a time to really face their own demons, their own self-doubt, their own identity, their own disappointments about life.

Those who haven't will find the naked exposure created by adolescents to be almost unbearable.

And in turn, the instinctual part of the very highly-attuned teenager will smell the weakness in their parents, and become terribly saddened and disillusioned by their parents, as they see themselves in their parents.

In an overwhelming tide of hormones they can start to act out of control.

They do this because they are looking to find a place where they belong.

Even if that place is with others who may do them harm. Even if this means becoming an outcast, or a loner, or a rebel, or a thug, or a person who is not even worthy of living.

At Teen Tribe, courageous parents come to face themselves.

To understand, support and love their kids, they have realised that they must understand, support, and love themselves.

Otherwise it feels like the life is drained away from them, and in return the adolescent will look towards the big bad world to find a place which matches how they feel about themselves.

Paul Stewart is a personal coach with Compassion Coaching, www.compassioncoaching.com.au, and also supports the inSight Men's Circle and Teen Tribe programs run through Hopelink 4979 3626. 

Topics:  counselling, parenting, paul stewart, teenagers




Gladstone 'mobile butcher' trials new meat delivery

MOBILE BUTCHER: This truck will be delivering meats to customers front doors on September 1.

ORDERS over $50 are free of charge.

'Lawless life': Gladstone body builder rips off servo

Dylan Todd / Facebook

GLADSTONE body builder drives off with fuel.

'Fast tracked': $9.8m project to bring Gladstone jobs

AN ENERGY HIT: Glenn Butcher MP has announced a $9.8 million upgrade to the power supply infrastructure.

State Government fast tracks another project in Gladstone

Latest deals and offers

Taylor Swift dismissed from jury duty

Taylor Swift was dismissed from jury duty in a sexual assault case

Zumbo's Willy Wonka hat trick trips up Queensland brickie

Adriano Zumbo and Rachel Khoo with Zumbo's floating dessert in a scene from Zumbo's Just Desserts.

NOOSA'S Michael Basset asked to recreate floating chocolate dish.

John Lennon's killer denied parole for 9th time

John Lennon

John Lennon's killer has been denied parole for the ninth time.

Mexican band takes aim at Trump

Disguised as unhinged narcotraficantes, the Mexican-American agitators of BRUJERIA captured the mood of the citys minorities with the bands infamous and widely banned 1993 debut, Matando Geros (Killing White People), quickly becoming the Spanish-language counterparts to early grindcore masters TERRORIZER and NAPALM DEATH.  Photo Contributed

'Satanic drug lord' band challenges Trump

Willy Wonka star, Gene Wilder dead at 83

A still of Gene Wilder in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Social media has already lit up with tributes to the late actor.

Gladstone couple's spontaneous Gympie Muster wedding

Craig Oglesby and Brenda Strong celebrate their wedding at the Gympie Muster with punters in front of the Main Stage.

The Gympie Music Muster was the perfect place for a wedding.

Bunnings starts demolition of historic foundry buildings

Demolition works have started at the Toowoomba Foundry.

Lane and footpath closures will take place

Australia's most expensive balcony and it hasn't been built

Viridian Noosa.

How Noosa millionares' squabble could affect body corporates

Palm Lake Resort set to move in to Coast with 276 villas

Palm Lake Group has been given approval by Sunshine Coast Council to build a 276-villa over 50s resort and 120-bed aged care facility at the intersection of Caloundra Rd and Caloundra Mooloolaba Rd in Little Mountain.

New facility planned for Caloundra Rd

Warning for unit investors with price plummet prediction

The warning signs are flashing for one real estate sector in 2017 despite others performing the best they have in years and it's not going to be pretty.

One real estate sector looks set for a rocky 2017

REVEALED: Pat Rafter's $18m Coast house on the market

Check out the photos of the Coast's most expensive property for sale

The "correction we had to have" in Gladstone's rentals

UPWARD MARCH: The rental vacancy rate in Gladstone has improved for the first time in more than a year, providing a confidence boost in the market.

Vacancy rates improve with signs that things are getting betterF