Opinion

A bloke’s guide to the dating game, brought to you by girls

MAKE-UP: Captain Jack Sparrow can pull off wearing eye liner, you cannot. And frankly Penelope Cruz is out of your league...unless you follow these tips.
MAKE-UP: Captain Jack Sparrow can pull off wearing eye liner, you cannot. And frankly Penelope Cruz is out of your league...unless you follow these tips. Contributed.

DESPITE cringing about it at times, I admit scenes as depicted in Sex and the City are prone to happen when the fairer sex congregate.

We were women left alone in a car on a road trip. We ended up talking about men.

I noted that, despite popular opinion, there are plenty of single women out there.

After all, I personally know a few stunners with the knockout personality to match.

Dating advice from the cave you probably should ignore

They won't settle for just anyone and, seemingly, aren't attracted to gents who think they're God's gift to women.

In jest, I made a list of some tips for those blokes out there wanting to give the dating game another crack.

Since my friend was in hysterics (albeit this is the toned down version) they shouldn't be taken too seriously:

Tip 1: Be employed or have some sort of goal. Now I ain't sayin' "she a gold digger". But she ain't messin' with no broke... or someone with no self motivation.

Although if you're offering a free holiday in the Caribbean and you're deadset hilarious, you can get away with not having anything else going on.

Tip 2: Unless you're Johnny Depp dressed up as his character Captain Jack Sparrow, or in a band, you can't pull off eyeliner.

Make-up in general is a no-go zone. Ditto for locks longer than hers or weird haircuts.

Tip 3: Read body language. If you see a woman across a bar, you look at her and smile, and she turns away without smiling, what does that mean?

A: keep trying. B: walk over and say hello. C: give up. If your answer was A or B, you lose.

She's not playing hard to get, she's probably waiting for her boyfriend or just doesn't fancy you.

Tip 4: Personal space matters when you meet someone for the first time. Try keeping half a metre of distance between the other person to avoid the creep zone.

Possible exception is if you have moves as smooth as Jagger and there's an opening to pull her onto the dance floor.

Final tip: Be yourself, even if that means ignoring all of the above tips.

If you're someone who easily identifies with what others hope to hear, you may find it easier to be a chameleon than yourself.

Danger Will Robinson - you may end up with the wrong person!

You don't want to end up 10 years down the track having a nervous breakdown because you've been hiding the real you.

Got some other tips, or think this is absolute tripe? Comment on this story with your best dating advice or share past experiences in our Your Story section.

Topics:  dating lisa maynard opinion relationships



How to survive a bushfire in your car

IT SOUNDS like a nightmare, but it can happen.

Eight reasons to join the RFS

SPREAD across 93% of Queensland, the Rural Fire Service has about 36,000 volunteers. And you could be one of them.

What if my insurer gives me grief?

CLAIMING your insurance cover after a natural disaster can go one of two ways. It can be a breeze, or like pulling teeth.

He's accused of raping his cell mate while watching porn

Borallon Correctional Centre. Photo Contributed

A CAPRICORNIA Correctional Centre inmate is on trial.

BOM: Severe weather warning tonight

REAL TIME: A massive cloud band is moving across Rockhampton right now. Source: Real Time BSCH

Possible flash flooding for the region

She drove 7 hours to sell mangoes, and then a thief struck

Jason Pfingst of Lilly Pilly Organics wants to grow the Yeppoon Markets, as part of the new Relish Capricorn initiaitive.
Photo: Contributed  /  Rural Weekly

Sharon drives down almost every week to sell her mangoes

Local Partners

Kylie Minogue: I want to get married soon

Pop star Kylie Minogue has revealed she hopes to get married soon

Amanda Seyfried lets slip the sex of her baby

Amanda Seyfried has suggested the sex of her baby

Meet the Brisbane breakfast radio king's replacement

Craig Zonca ABC Radio

ABC announces Craig Zonca as the replacement for Spencer Howson

How predictable are your Netflix habits?

Stranger Things is taking the world by storm as a new-age nostalgic Sci-Fi Thriller

The new entertainment binging pattern

Kanye West is on the mend now he's back from hospital

Kanye West is more relaxed since returning home from hospital

WATCH: The young Aussie actor playing Barack Obama

A screenshot of the trailer for Barry, a new film from Netflix.

Aussie teen nails Obama's early university years

Ipswich City Properties asset portfolio retains its value

Ipswich City Council Administration Building, South Street, Ipswich. Photo: Claudia Baxter / The Queensland Times

New website launched by Ipswich City Council

High profile premier invests in Gladstone industrial facility

Former Queensland premier Campbell Newman heads a group that bought the UGL warehouses in Paget for $10 million.

FORMER PREMIER heads group that's backing Gladstone to bounce back.

INSIDE STORY: The highlights of your $150 million CBD

GRAND PLAN: The highlights of the Ipswich CBD redevelopment and where they will be located.

Work on city heart's radical transformation to begin next year

VOTE IN OUR POLL: Sand mine opponents face serious dilemma

Public meeting for the proposed sand mine at Maroochydore last week.

Coast MP calls on Minister to stop KRA proposal with stroke of a pen

Developer's grand new multi-million dollar estate

NEW ESTATE: This is the only plan revealed by the property developer's new Billabongs Estate in Agnes Water.

DEVELOPER given the go ahead for a massive estate with 149 homes.

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!