A bloke’s guide to the dating game, brought to you by girls

MAKE-UP: Captain Jack Sparrow can pull off wearing eye liner, you cannot. And frankly Penelope Cruz is out of your league...unless you follow these tips.
MAKE-UP: Captain Jack Sparrow can pull off wearing eye liner, you cannot. And frankly Penelope Cruz is out of your league...unless you follow these tips. Contributed.

DESPITE cringing about it at times, I admit scenes as depicted in Sex and the City are prone to happen when the fairer sex congregate.

We were women left alone in a car on a road trip. We ended up talking about men.

I noted that, despite popular opinion, there are plenty of single women out there.

After all, I personally know a few stunners with the knockout personality to match.

Dating advice from the cave you probably should ignore

They won't settle for just anyone and, seemingly, aren't attracted to gents who think they're God's gift to women.

In jest, I made a list of some tips for those blokes out there wanting to give the dating game another crack.

Since my friend was in hysterics (albeit this is the toned down version) they shouldn't be taken too seriously:

Tip 1: Be employed or have some sort of goal. Now I ain't sayin' "she a gold digger". But she ain't messin' with no broke... or someone with no self motivation.

Although if you're offering a free holiday in the Caribbean and you're deadset hilarious, you can get away with not having anything else going on.

Tip 2: Unless you're Johnny Depp dressed up as his character Captain Jack Sparrow, or in a band, you can't pull off eyeliner.

Make-up in general is a no-go zone. Ditto for locks longer than hers or weird haircuts.

Tip 3: Read body language. If you see a woman across a bar, you look at her and smile, and she turns away without smiling, what does that mean?

A: keep trying. B: walk over and say hello. C: give up. If your answer was A or B, you lose.

She's not playing hard to get, she's probably waiting for her boyfriend or just doesn't fancy you.

Tip 4: Personal space matters when you meet someone for the first time. Try keeping half a metre of distance between the other person to avoid the creep zone.

Possible exception is if you have moves as smooth as Jagger and there's an opening to pull her onto the dance floor.

Final tip: Be yourself, even if that means ignoring all of the above tips.

If you're someone who easily identifies with what others hope to hear, you may find it easier to be a chameleon than yourself.

Danger Will Robinson - you may end up with the wrong person!

You don't want to end up 10 years down the track having a nervous breakdown because you've been hiding the real you.

Got some other tips, or think this is absolute tripe? Comment on this story with your best dating advice or share past experiences in our Your Story section.

Topics:  dating lisa maynard opinion relationships

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