MY WIFE reckons my notorious cynicism extends to rampant pessimism.
To validate this she points to the ubiquitous advice of astrologers that Virgos like me tend to have negative, seldom positive thoughts. And why not?
To illustrate my point, I had decided to have a two week break.
To get things under way, we attended a wedding at the Pelican Waters Golf Resort in Caloundra last Saturday week. Thought the place was terrific, so on arrival, I booked an extra two night stay. Thought I'd play a round on Monday, followed by a swim and a beer back at the resort.
Then came the realisation that apart from clubs and golf shoes, all I had with me was the suit and tie I was in, a toothbrush and a singlet and shorts for the trip home.
No problems, it was market day in Bulcock St the next day, and besides that, there was a Stockland shopping centre nearby.
Despite my 110kg bulk, I managed to buy shorts and golf shirt, cap, sports socks, undies, board shorts and a couple of T-shirts to fit.
Ready and able was I for my Monday of golf and poolside relaxation!
Naturally, my wife saw an opportunity to punish me for some unknown crime by splashing the cash on herself as well - the usual couple of pairs of shoes, some dresses and of course, a pair of golf shorts and shirt essential to accompany me in the golf cart.
Got back to the resort, rang the pro shop to book. Course closed Monday for maintenance.
Poor preparation and planning had come back to bite me on the bum! But at least that left the swim and a day of relaxing around the pool.
Monday arrived and you guessed it, the weather had turned to crap and now I was left with pristine, unused golf clobber, T-shirts and boardies - not to mention my wife's new shoes, various other items of must-have clothing and a hole in my wallet.
And you ask why Virgos tend to see the glass half-empty!
As I write, I'm in a motel room in Yeppoon. The plan is to drive north to the Mercure Capricorn Golf Resort and push a white ball around a bit.
Thankfully I've got everything I'll need with me and the weather is just great. Hope the car starts!